Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
