That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
