FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
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