Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
