singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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