you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
