We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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