If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
is it fun? or sober?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
