i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
