She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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