She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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