Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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