Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
