So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
