That's intense
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
