Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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