at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
