i just wanna soil my oats bro
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
