thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
