god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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