marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
