i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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