So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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