when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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