Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
