yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize