I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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