This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
