you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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