I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
