We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
