True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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