Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
