I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
