Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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