Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
