My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
