Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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