Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
