Will you blow on my dice?
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
