i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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