I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
