I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he laminated a picture of his dick.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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