so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
