NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
