ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
