Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Randomize
