i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
