I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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