margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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