I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
