his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
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