her vagine was all disorganized.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
