He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
