woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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