Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
you are never too drunk for berry picking
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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