mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
