Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
