a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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